lets start a swedish sibling band together
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My bed smells like the plague
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize