Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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