She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
