So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
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She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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