If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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