You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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