oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
well I can't set my house on fire every night
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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