and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
