using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
