even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
