I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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