we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
