I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
