Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
