please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
