Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
