I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
