i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
