who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
