i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
