she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
