I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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