Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
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