That's intense
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
