I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
