I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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