You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
