It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
