Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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