It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
