He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
