My cat gives me a boner
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize