you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
