I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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