3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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