Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
