I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
ok first of all what the fuck
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
