his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
