marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize