Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
