she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize