its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
