Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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