I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dignity is for republicans.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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