Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
