she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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