I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
