We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
