you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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