Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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