No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just pee around me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
