Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
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