Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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