Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
