we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
