he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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