It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize