spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
